Update and Life

For those that read this or follow at least I will try to write more now that I am doing more stuff.  I guess I have been longing to write because I have been learning many things and enjoying the things that I have learned. 

I hope you enjoy hearing/reading an update on my life because that is what I am going to write.  Life is GREAT.  I have moved into an apartment with a friend of mine and am enjoying most of it.  I like the independent feeling; however, I almost wish living without responsibilities at home.  My apartment is huge and that is almost strange for me having friends over in an apartment that most families could not afford, but I know that I will grow through this experience.  A few things that I miss about living in dorms is that I don't have the same community that I did.  I liked being able to go to a friends room when I was bored or even doing homework with people in my classes and now my roommate and I aren't in any of the same classes so its not that we are doing the same homework.  It was also great to have someone to talk to about problems, that confidant, not that I can't do that with my roommate but I had a good friend at mcc who I really was able to talk to about things and I almost feel that I lost that moving back to Wichita.  However, I know that God wanted me in wichita this semester and I know that God will bless me if I stay in the word.   He has already allowed me to grow stronger with my parents which I know I will need in the future. 

I decided to move back to WSU last semester in May.  It was an easy decision at the time, but it gets harder and harder.  It was in 1 week that I completely just had a bad experience and God said that I can't stay there, but as I look back I didn't hate the entire semester in fact I miss all my good friends and all the people that made MCC fun and exciting.  I also miss having a the ability to mentor new freshmen not as an RA but as a sophomore, someone else who lives in the dorms and can kind of explain what the school is like.  I don't know that I will get to have that experience at the next school that I go to, but I will try. 

WSU is fun I don't really have much to complain about other than the classes that I am taking are kind of kush classes that I don't need for my major(s) (Physc. - Health, and Youth Ministry).  And I don't know that I really enjoy them I don't really like being a student at WSU, it just doesn't have any appeal to me, but I know that it is cheaper, and I am only there for one semester (hopefully).

God has decided to be difficult with next semester, in that I am back to square two in deciding schools.  I had earlier decided to go to Northwestern College in MN, which I just love every time I look at it and think about it; however, visiting was different I think maybe it was just the travel.  In previous semesters my mom has asked me to think about John Brown University.  I don't really like that option and I had discarded it a long time ago; however, this past May my cousin got married to a JBU graduate and through that I have been asked to take a campus visit and I will; however, I really want to go to NWC.  JBU  is a good school and has the degree programs that I want and it is near family.  Hearing about it I see that I should at least check it out.  I am leaning very much towards NWC but if I get orders otherwise I will have to apply at least.  

 

In Wichita, I am working at Wichita Public Schools as an AVID tutor (There is an AVID program in schools close to NWC), and I am the Children's Minister at Westside United Methodist Church.  These both are answers to prayer because they provide me with enough financial support to pay for my life; at 18 years old I can officially afford my life w/o Health Insurance and my Cell Phone bill.  That was such a huge answer to prayer that I can't even believe God would love me so much.  But God is GREAT.  Both of these jobs at least required a year long commitment; however, I entered into both with my employers knowing that I will only be there six months and they still hired me which was completely God!!!

I don't know where God will lead me but where ever it may be I pray that God will continue to use me, and I pray for where I am at now that God will use me in ways much larger than myself.   Hope to update more.  I will try and post more what God is teaching me as opposed to my life so far until I run far away and people could use some constant updates.

Aaron

College and Userpations

College is a great time for students such as myself, a time where I can learn about myself and about God. Over the past month that I have been at college I have learned so much about God, but I feel that I am in the same predicament as I was when I was at home. I am too comfortable. Philosophers of the 19th century were focussed on transcending about human expectations, above human culture, and above human society. The only way they were able to accomplish that goal was to go into nature, pure, wonderful, untouched nature. While studying such philosophers I have often wondered why our culture does not practice the philosophy of the 19th century writers. The idea has great value and when practiced it has provided intended results, unlike the experiences that we face today. In order to answer said question I must discuss the philosophy, along with the society of the 19th century. After I have discussed the situation I then must compare the both today's society and the society of the 19th century.

The philosophy of the transcendentalists was that in order to gain happiness or enjoyment for life one must go back to his roots and experience nature and existence for himself. The way that the 19th century writers experienced this was to go into nature and find true beauty, they must completely live in nature and experience life in the way that the first men experienced it. The belief is that the original homosapiens did not experience trivial problems such as fear of recieving a promotion fear of not providing for your family. The belief was that the things created by humans to make lifes easier in turn made life stressful and the only way to get rid of that stress is to get into nature and simply be. "Be" without worrying about ones job, "be" without worrying about the community, "be" without the man made objects that have caused so much comotion.

This belief seems radical to the people of the 21st century because we live in a time where most of the world population lives in urban or suburban areas. However, in order to understand this philosophy one must look into the life of a typical 19th century writer and his society. A typical philosopher of the 19th century was of the elite culture, he was educated, probably gone through years and years of schooling, and possibly living off the wealth of his family. Truthfully most of the 19th century philosophers lived a comfortable life and they were able to coast on their families money for quite a while. When a philosopher would go and try to discover the simple things that make him a human and that make him unique, essentially when he tries to discover himself, he has trouble, because up until the point that he is able to question who he is, he has not had the opportunity to be himself, but rather the person that his parents and university proffessors have made him to be. Thus he must find a way to discover who he is. As he looks into society he constantly sees a barage of people telling him who he should be, what he should, and how he should act: society presents "manners" as a necessity and not a simple commodity which helps society function more appropriately and thus "manners" force one to act in such a way that he must immitate the actions of everyone around him. Where would one look? because one did not live in a world where he could fly himself to the jungles of south america, or drive north to a culture that is far different from his own. He must dig deep to a place where life is not defined by what one does and how he acts but instead look to a place where he can simply be. That place is nature. nature would not be a far off choice, in the 19th century there was still accessable nature where one could rome safely contrary to our culture where if one does decide to live in nature he must face harsh cold climates of Alaska, or be in fear of undeveloped cultures attacking in the jungles of South America. Nature was present and not hard to find, though scary, it was accessable by many.

In our 21st century culture we are not confrontated with as much livable nature, much of the nature that we can see has been set aside and used by the government as a tourist trap to allow its citizens to see beauty which had been discovered previously rather than allowing us to observe beauty for ourselves (refer to the Phiolopher Berger). But though we do not have an abundance of nature we have transcended beyond the need of nature. We have created for ourselves situations that seem far off and crazy situations that allow us to "be" and "be happy." In the United States of America we are able to experience many different cultures in a way that allows us to choose which culture fits us, which culture makes us happy. Not only do we have this in the United States but at this time continental travel is becoming easier and easier (which due to politics is now becoming slightly harder, but still much easier than it was in the 19th century). As humans we long to find out who we are, and it seems that due to the beliefs of the transcendentalist we must become uncomfortable by leaving the life we have become accustomed to and go to a place where we can simply "be."

Though must of this has nothing to do with what I am going through, I think it is great to think about as I process my choice of where I will end up next semester. I have come to Manhattan Christian College because it is close to home and it allows me to live comfortably, if I ever have a problem I can either be home in two hours or I can find someone who i knew from highschool and be comfortable again. As I think about the transcendentalist I try to imagine myself leaving the culture which I have grown accustomed to and leaving to a very cold culture where I do not have to ability to drive two hours to see family or where I will not have friends from home to talk to, I simply cannot bring myself to do it, even if I do it to transcend. I cannot see myself transcending but I can see myself leaving Kansas. I guess as I write this I have realized that my entire reasoning behind college is based on what I want to do with my life, and how I should live it in order to gain true satisfaction, though I am not looking at the bigger picture here. There is a God who has seen it all, who has seen me stay in Kansas, the same God has also seen me move to Minnessota, and the same God has seen me move to California. I should not be looking for my own satisfaction, because I do not know what will happen no matter where I go, if I go oneplace my life could be completely destroyed and I will live in pain for the 70 years. If I go another palce I could be happy, but I don't know the outcome of anything that I do. Only God knows what is best for my life, and I must seek his direction in anything I do. I shouldn't worry about transcending in order to find out about who I am but instead I should just listen and Go! I will learn so much about myself and God will teach me so many great things if I just listen to him for he has a plan for my life and I know that he is a perfect God.

So basically disregard everything and listen to God

AMH

"

"i'm glad god is gettin to you"

"i'm glad god is gettin to you"
I don't think these are the words I want to hear. In High School was I so bad that people didn't see evidence of God "gettin" to me? I know that is true, I didn't act accordingly in high school and it is a lot easier for me to act in such a way in a christian college, but I feel I need to reflect on this. Is this the way people will remember me after college, are these the words that colleagues will say after I've moved on to a different career? To all the high schoolers that read this blog I can only say is this the way in which you act, or do your actions represent God's will?
2 Chorinthians 5:13-15
Many use this verse to say dress up wierd or be wierd by growing out hair or something like that, but instead it is talking about your actions, do you act in a way that the world sees you as odd or abnormal, do you beliefs reflect that of the Bible or are you settling with a worldview based on past experiences? Because I can tell you a lot of things in the nation are not according to the word of God (I say this without even thinking about abortion and homosexuality), and we settle saying that people need to be happy and content with their lives, but is that the word that Jesus taught his apostles?
I don't like those words at all.

AMH

Ephesians 6:12

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

I want to start of the new year, or at least the first post of the year, remembering the verse that I mold this blog on. I really do imagine my life as a battle, quite often do I have to fight for what I believe, and for what has taught me or is in the process of teaching me, and quite often I get discouraged because it seems that things don't go my way, and the easy things such as wittnessing and speaking and loving others become a battle, one in which I don't know how to fight, one which I hate fighting. However, with this verse Paul, speaking to those in Ephesis, warns them sayinig the things that we struggle with in this earth are not brought upon by mere mortals, but instead it is brought upon by those that are fighting a heavenly battle, humans are apart of a heavenly battle, and if we view the struggles in such a way we know that we must pick up our weapons and everything else in order to fight the GREAT fight. This verse continues on telling us to put on the armor of God so that we are ready to fight. The big question that I ask as I read this verse is am I ready to fight the evil. We can be for certain that this is a battle and a war, Paul doesn't write saying "if this were a fight" but instead he says that "our battle is" so if we know that we are in a war, are we constantly preparing ourselves to fight the Great fight?

AMH

Completely Broken

"Here I am
At Your feet
In my brokeness complete"

This is a song by Starfield, which really speaks to me. As I worship I like to think about how God has created us and given us so many blessings, yet at the same time, he has taken so many things away from us. When we are called to worship we are called to notice, exalt, and praise God for who He is. As I sang this song durring worship and later on my ride to school, I could only think about how I am here, yet broken, I have been through hard times, and times where I would rather turn away from God and fix on my own than to allow God to fix them, I guess if Pastor Cooper were to tell my story he would say that I am not viewing God as my Great Physician.

As I look at God in my life and worship him for the things he has given me and where he has placed me in life, I can only see myself as broken in his sight. I am a complete mess I am not where I want to be, and the good news is, I have to wait for God to place me where I want to be. In the song Unchanging Starfield sings to God and says, "Here I am, all of me, in my brokeness complete." To think that as I, all of my soul, worships God I am bringing baggage with me and my life seems to be broken as I try my hardest to worship who He is, I can stand completely broken in Him, yet, at the same time, I can be in complete worship of his name, I can praise him for putting me in situations where I am forced to grow, and I can praise him for never leaving even though times seem hard.

As for myself and my brokeness, I am struggling as I fight what seems to be a futile struggle, I am torn between who it is that I am truly fighting. Epehsians 6:12 says, "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, and the cosmis powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." I wish that I could say that I am in a fight with work, that I am in a fight with the schools that confuse me, and so on, but the truth is, God is in the middle of any of my situations, I remain 100% positive of that, and that as I struggle to find truth and understanding I am fighting against the rulers of this world who want me to believe that I am nothing and that I cannot be anything, it is an intense battle against the world. Romans 12:2 tells me to "be transformed," and as I strive to transformation I will continually struggle against the rules over this present darknes.

AMH

John

So this afternoon, I decided to start reading the book of John.
As I read I started to wonder what all the meanings behind the text were and I started asking these questions,

"Is John's narrative an example of how Christians are supposed to live?
If so, how do we interpret the text, from the way John acts while Jesus is on Earth to the way that we are supposed to act now that Jesus is in Heaven?"

John 1:31 says, "I myself did not know him, but the reason I came baptizing with water was that he might be revealed to Israel." As I ask these questions, I realize that this is a way that we are supposed to live our lives. John was a baptizer, hence the name John the Baptist, I assume that baptizing was his job, or at least a hobby, or something God told him to do, but nonetheless, it was something John did. I begin to think about the things in my life that I do, such as, church, workish, school, friends, and I replace a few things in this verse to check if I am living up to the narrative. "I myself did not know him (true), but the reason I [am a student at Maize High, and WSU] is that he might be revealed." Does this entire verse sound true in my life? Probably not. So how do I make it true? That is what I will do for the next 10 years or so as I go through schooling, I guess, wish me luck.

This verse always provides a way for us to baptize. Thought I don't baptize anyone, I might someday, I like this verse, because a lot of times the baptism is seen as the individual pronouncing his/her faith, but rather John baptized people to reveal Jesus. I am not criticizing the way we baptize now, but I am looking at it differently, when someone gets baptized, he is revealing God to the world, maybe even making a pact with the rest of the Church, that the individual will continue to reveal Jesus. Did I make that pact with the Church? If so I have broken it. Today I am a student whose purpose is to reveal Jesus. That is my pact.

God use me and the rest of the next few amazing months to impact the world, or at least the community, Lord provide a strong vision in the Christian community to learn to reveal your name to the world. Watch my steps and my struggles and mark the path for me to learn.

AMH