Completely Broken

"Here I am
At Your feet
In my brokeness complete"

This is a song by Starfield, which really speaks to me. As I worship I like to think about how God has created us and given us so many blessings, yet at the same time, he has taken so many things away from us. When we are called to worship we are called to notice, exalt, and praise God for who He is. As I sang this song durring worship and later on my ride to school, I could only think about how I am here, yet broken, I have been through hard times, and times where I would rather turn away from God and fix on my own than to allow God to fix them, I guess if Pastor Cooper were to tell my story he would say that I am not viewing God as my Great Physician.

As I look at God in my life and worship him for the things he has given me and where he has placed me in life, I can only see myself as broken in his sight. I am a complete mess I am not where I want to be, and the good news is, I have to wait for God to place me where I want to be. In the song Unchanging Starfield sings to God and says, "Here I am, all of me, in my brokeness complete." To think that as I, all of my soul, worships God I am bringing baggage with me and my life seems to be broken as I try my hardest to worship who He is, I can stand completely broken in Him, yet, at the same time, I can be in complete worship of his name, I can praise him for putting me in situations where I am forced to grow, and I can praise him for never leaving even though times seem hard.

As for myself and my brokeness, I am struggling as I fight what seems to be a futile struggle, I am torn between who it is that I am truly fighting. Epehsians 6:12 says, "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, and the cosmis powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." I wish that I could say that I am in a fight with work, that I am in a fight with the schools that confuse me, and so on, but the truth is, God is in the middle of any of my situations, I remain 100% positive of that, and that as I struggle to find truth and understanding I am fighting against the rulers of this world who want me to believe that I am nothing and that I cannot be anything, it is an intense battle against the world. Romans 12:2 tells me to "be transformed," and as I strive to transformation I will continually struggle against the rules over this present darknes.

AMH